An Open Letter To My Accuser

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Just because your anxiety level begins to increase when I yell does not mean in anyway that I am abusing my children. It means that you have anxiety issues from being abused yourself that you need to deal with. And sorry to tell you but that is your problem, not mine.

I don’t expect others to cater to my anxiety; I don’t look at the person in the store taking the same path behind me and say “Excuse me you are causing my anxiety level to rise, you must be a sexual predator please stop following me.” That is just absurd, and no matter what you want to think what you are saying and accusing me of is absolutely, without a doubt just as absurd. I am hypersensitive to sexual abuse, because it is the cause of my anxiety, as yours is emotional/mental abuse. But, using the measure of your anxiety to state someone is abusing their kids is at best unreliable, not to mention un-responsible, and for your future endeavors unprofessional. You can not do this because it clouds your judgment; just as my hypersensitivity clouds mine. I work extra hard to keep that out of the picture when considering abuse, is it hard? YES! But it is doable.

Yes, my kids spend most of their day in one room. Shall we examine the reasons why? Oh no you just care to jump to conclusion about it. But, I will give you the reasons why anyway. First, we live in a 3 bedroom house with 7 people. Mom and Step-dad have their room, Brother has his, so that leaves me, hubby, and the kiddos in one room to ourselves. So, with mine {and hubby’s} concern of the kids causing an issue elsewhere in the house,(which they do). We have them play, eat snack, etc in the room.

You want to claim it’s no big deal they are out there? Well again let’s examine, shall we? They make a mess with their toys people are upset that their are toys in the living room *they only other available play space,* they get upset that the kids are too loud to hear their shows on TV, they get upset that the kids are underfoot in the kitchen, they get upset that they remove toys from brother’s room, etc etc, on and on. These issues are there and present, and to try to keep a semblance of peace and balance in the house the kids are in the room. (Although this seems to have backfired)

And yes I yell at my kids, I get frustrated with my kids, I even throw things to the ground in frustration. This again does not mean I am abusing my kids, it means I am having the frustrations of parenting. Every parent at some point yells, and gets frustrated; if they tell you they don’t they are a liar. Period. Don’t pass “Go” or collect $200.

You also state that my children run to you in “fear.” That is really odd considering they do not do that to anyone else. Yes they run when they are in trouble, nearly all kids do. They don’t like being in trouble. But they don’t run to anyone else in “fear.” What is actually happening here is that I tell them they can’t sit with you or play with Brother, they begin to argue, I yell, they run to you and you give exactly what they want. Wow that sounds more like they are getting their way with you so would rather ask you than me.

And, then to claim your brother’s situation is because he’s poor and mine is abuse is utterly ridiculous. Your brother has one carseat for 2 kids. Is it even the proper carseat for both kids? I can say fairly confidently that him and his wife go places with both kids, so what does that mean? A CHILD IS RIDING IN A CAR WITHOUT A CARSEAT, and on a regular basis. Do you understand how much danager that child is being placed in?? And I am living in this 3 bedroom home with 7 people because I am poor and can’t afford another place at this time. So we are making the best out of the situation we have.

But, at this time due to your accusations, and others unwillingness to support us in this situation we have decided that for our family it is best to move. So this month my kids will go with husband, and spend nearly 2 months from me. All because of your “anxiety level.”

When you have kids, are working, and going to school you can then come to me and preach your high and mighty ways. While your kid runs around “unafraid” and my children are saying please, thank you, sir/ma’am; and I have no concern of their ability to be good people.

So to you and your “anxiety level” GO FUCK YOURSELF.


About illbeyourwater

A twenty-something mom of 2, wife of 1, candid (sometimes brutal), psych student.

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