Down The Rabbit Hole I Go

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“Love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything.  Love still stands when all else has fallen” -Unknown


I try my best not to worry when things get rough, I know that they always work out.  Hubby and I have been together for more than 5 years now, and through every trial and tribulation we have ever faced we have overcome TOGETHER; and ended up being stronger because of that.  But none the less when it comes to the roof over our head and the money in our bank account I get sick to my stomach quick and easy.

My mom just texted me (very “sternly” I might add) that her landlords were both undergoing chemo and had to sell the home, the new owners had a 48 hour clause of anyone else in the home in the new rental contract, they have to July to decided to stay or move.   She believes they will move, and if they do they are looking about an hour, in either direction, of where they currently are.  Meaning the original plan of me going back to Oregon to work in August isn’t gonna happen as planned, if at all, because I was going to stay with them until I had school money and move Jon and the kiddies to our own place.  And, just the other day I was told that the landlord of Jon’s uncle’s house hasn’t paid his mortgage in nearly a year…I mean I knew we were told not to worry about rent, but I didn’t know that was why.

Thankfully, Jon found a job at Fred Meyer, that he seems to be enjoying, for now.  I have school, but I have no idea what to do from here.  I hate moving to start with (I lived in 3 homes the entire time I was growing up), and then to throw in I have no idea when, where, or how we will be moving scares me shitless.  The only thing getting me through is knowing we just have to make it through another year, plus a few months. Then I will be done with school, and we will be moving back south.  Both for me to start Grad school and for us to be closer to my in-laws….who are the most awesome people in the whole world, I am damn lucky to have them. Ok, two things get me through; so, that and knowing my hubby is with me every step of the way.

My kids are too young to understand exactly what’s going on, but they know and feel mommy is stressed, agitated, and short tempered.  I feel terrible and I am working on staying calm, but all I really wanna do is sit in the corner and cry.  Must remember one day at a time, one day at a time.

I know lots of people are out there struggling, and that I am not alone.  And that is somewhat comforting, and have read some others blog stories, knowing that people have it far worse than I.  But, I needed to vent; so thanks for listening 🙂


About illbeyourwater

A twenty-something mom of 2, wife of 1, candid (sometimes brutal), psych student.

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